The high and low notes of our Queensland tour with “Rocket Man, Songs and Stories of Elton John”, August 2016

In August 2016 my wife Jacqui and I toured our two-person Elton John tribute show all around Queensland, playing the NARPACA Morning Melodies circuit. We had thousands of k’s to cover, thousands of people to entertain and nine venues to discover. We’d packed the van with our costumes, Jacqui’s cello, keyboard and percussion stuff, other assorted equipment, cooking utensils, some food items, several bottles of wine and our suitcases. We also had our grand-piano shell for the gig in Cairns (they didn’t have a grand piano at their venue) and our bikes for R&R.

Sunday 7th – The tour begins

We’d been looking forward to this day for 6 months. We were leaving the cold Melbourne winter and hitting the open road for the joyful heat of Northern Queensland. First stop, Dubbo where we stayed in a beautiful apartment at the very swish Quest Hotel.

Monday 8th – On the road

As we drove north towards the small town of Roma we began to strip off our Melbourne layers. We quickly realised we wouldn’t be needing our beanies, long-sleeved shirts or thermal underwear for quite some time.  In Roma we bought the biggest fennel we’d ever seen.

Tuesday 9th – Still on the road – Roma to Charters Towers

Charters Towers was one of the towns where we were performing, but this time we were just stopping a night on our way to Innisfail. We stayed at the Royal Private Hotel which should be a tourist attraction in its own right. It was one of the first structures to be built in the town soon after gold was discovered in 1871. Apparently drinking is a very important part of being a gold miner. The hotel has had its ups and downs over the years but its current owner, Patricia, has renovated the place in spectacular style. If you’re ever anywhere near Charters Towers pop in and ask her for a tour. Tell her Elton sent you 😉

Wednesday 10th – Towards the first gig

It was only a few hours drive from Charters Towers to Innisfail and it was something of a relief to reach the location of our first show. All was well except that my neck was in agony from so many hours sitting in the van. I would have loved to wiggle my nose and have my trusted chiropractor magically appear. Also, we were a little concerned that our van’s coolant needed re-filling every day. Hopefully it would see us through the tour, having made it this far.

Thursday 11th – First show, Innisfail Shire Hall

Innisfail is a small town with an enormous town hall. The council controversially refurbished it at the cost of $17m in 2009 after it was devastated by Cyclone Larry. It’s a beautiful venue to play, although it was pretty warm. You’d be sweating performing there in summer! The crowd were startlingly enthusiastic and we felt we’d kicked off to a great start.   Lovely to meet Kim, Pete and Ben.

After pack-down we ate a scrumptious vegan curry at an organic food and wellness shop next door to the venue.

Friday 12th – Back to the Towers

We made the short drive back to Charters Towers and booked back into the historic Royal Private Hotel. In the afternoon we took advantage of the beautiful weather and rode our bikes up to Towers Hill where they first discovered gold. The end of the path was so steep we felt like we were riding vertically.

On returning to the hotel we had a spa (!) in an effort to calm my aching neck, followed by a pizza from Eagle Boys.

Saturday 13th – Second show, The World Theatre, Charters Towers

In the late 1800s Charters Towers was a vibrant hub of activity. It was the second-largest city in Queensland, after Brisbane. The area was nick-named “The World” because you could get everything you wanted there. And so the 660 seat performance venue in Charters Towers is called “The World Theatre”. The very grand building was formerly a bank.

Unfortunately the town’s hubbub is a thing of the distant past. We had about 80 people at our show, which is apparently quite good. The theatre is beautiful but is marred by a very irritating slap-back (kind of like an echo). The venue’s new technical manager, David, has vowed to get this problem fixed. Hopefully we’ll get back to Charters Towers one day and find out if he’s succeeded.  Great to chat with theatre manager Karen after the show – a fellow former-Adelaidean!

Sunday 14th – Drive to Cairns and van trouble

Before we left home we thought this would be a fairly easy day. Charters Towers to Cairns is a six-hour drive through lush sugar-cane and banana country. Unfortunately our van’s little issue of coolant-loss was becoming too big to ignore. On reaching Cairns we called the RACQ who offered the diagnosis of “water in the oil” and told us the van was no longer drivable.

We plunged ourselves into “problem-solving mode” which is not at all similar to panic. We had a van full of gear and two shows to do the next day. Not to mention another two weeks of touring.

Before having the van towed we taxied out to Cairns airport and hired the only vehicle big enough to carry our piano shell, a HiAce Super-long-wheelbase van. We were very lucky Avis had one. We then headed back to the hotel, transferred some of our stuff into the rental and some into our hotel room, and waited for the tow-truck.

Monday 15th – Two sell-out shows in Cairns

The Cairns Morning Melodies shows have always been presented at the Cairns Civic Theatre but this venue has been bulldozed. While a new one is being built, they are using the Cairns Choral Society Hall which is way smaller than the Civic Theatre, meaning we had to do two performances of the show (morning and afternoon) to accommodate their regular audience. We had a great time playing to two packed houses and selling CDs outside the hall in the balmy tropical air.

Many thanks to Megan, Steve, Justin and Ben.

The Choral Society Hall was the only venue on the tour without a grand piano so we set up our piano shell which fools everyone! Later that afternoon we were hauling the piano shell up to our hotel room, to the great amusement of onlookers. One tourist said, “Aren’t you String Fever? Yes, I thought so. I saw you at the Shedley Theatre in Adelaide”. Its a small world.

Tuesday 16th – An unplanned stay in Cairns

Today we were meant to be driving to Proserpine but changed our schedule to stay an extra day in Cairns hoping that our van could be fixed in time. The morning started with a coffee by the Esplanade, then we launched into caffeine-fueled fretting. By about 2pm we were certain that our van would not be fixed, so we started to hatch some plans. We called Megan from the Tank Arts Centre who thankfully agreed to store our piano shell until we could come back and fetch it. We wanted to avoid the enormous expense of hiring a commercial van for the remainder of the tour since we had no further need for the shell.

So we hired a Kia Carnival people-mover. It was a big effort so squash our remaining luggage, instruments and equipment in, but we rose to the challenge. We also found a local “Man with a Van” via Gumtree who we hired to transport our piano shell to the Tank Arts Centre the next morning. Onward!

Wednesday 17th – Drive to Proserpine

An uneventful but tiring day. We were still driving at dusk so spent the last hour of the journey on high alert for kangaroos. Thankfully none crossed our path.

Thursday 18th – Fifth show, Proserpine Entertainment Centre

This was a fantastic show. Tickets had been subsidised by the local council in honour of Seniors Week so we had a full house of cheering pensioners. A good percentage of the audience were not regular theatre attendees and the excitement in the room was palpable.

The two-man team running the show were Chris and Jason – boater-hats off to you both, not to mention the highly energetic volunteers!

We hit the road straight after pack-down, munching a Vegemite and Biocheese sandwich as we drove. We arrived in Mackay in the afternoon and had an early night in preparation for another show-day.

Friday 19th – Sixth show, Mackay Entertainment and Convention Centre (MECC)

Wow, what a venue. We were royally looked-after by the crew of thousands. Not literally, but I reckon we’ve played to crowds smaller than the number of tech crew at the MECC 😉 The green room was filled with memorabilia from the MECC’s humble predecessor, the Theatre Royal, including a touching tribute to late Mackay theatre legend Jack Sturgeon.

Thanks Mark, David, Grant, James, Jamie, Leisha & all the others whose names escape me!

Saturday 20th – Drive to Rockhampton

The road from Mackay to Rockhampton (or “Rocky” as they call it) is scattered with humorous signs saying things like “Only 3 hours to Rocky kids” and “Are we there yet?”. The latter sign is about 5 minutes out of Mackay! The signs and scenery made the four-hour drive pass quickly. We made our way to the Rockhampton Travel Lodge where we had a 6th floor room with a spectacular view over the Fitzroy River towards the mountains.

I had a craving for chips which we bought from a packed-out local-legend chip shop called Samo’s.

Sunday 21st – Day off

We hung out and checked out Rocky. I practised violin for a while then we watched some TV on Netflix. Gotta love that high-speed NBN internet.

Monday 22nd – Seventh show, Pilbeam Theatre, Rockhampton

Show-wise this was the highlight of the tour. Again, tickets were subsidised for Seniors Week and the 960-seat theatre was close to capacity. Jacqui sold so many CDs that it was clear she was going to sell out before the tour was done. Its weird to know she was selling more CDs than me, even though its my bloody show!!!

Thanks Ashley, Deb, Josh, Jim and Mick.

We drove straight from the Pilbeam Theatre to the Gladstone Entertainment Centre for a 4pm soundcheck.

Tuesday 23rd – Eighth show, Gladstone Entertainment Centre

The convention-centre style room was set up cabaret-style with tables. For some strange reason we got announced on stage at 8 minutes to 11 instead of 11, and I heard the words “ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our star Elton John” from my standing position in front of the back-stage urinal! No big drama, but the shaky start caused me to forget to perform a whole song. I didn’t realise my slip-up until about half an hour later.

Had a post-show laugh with Josh (yes, that Josh, not the other one) Simon, Ashley and Andrew.

We drove straight from the venue to Maryborough, via Subway.

Wednesday 24th – The van verdict

Wednesday was a day off in Maryborough which is a charming town. Its the birthplace of PL Travers who wrote Mary Poppins.

I was starting to get concerned about the progress of our van repair, so I called the mechanic in Cairns. Joseph was very happy to tell me the van was fixed and ready to go, but that they may need to charge us a storage fee since we hadn’t picked it up yet.

We spent the afternoon planning our van retrieval logistics. Accom at a Brisbane airport motel, flights to Cairns, hotels on the way from Cairns back to Brisbane, liaising with Megan at Tank Arts Centre to retrieve the piano shell. It would be a far-cry from our planned four-day break in Noosa, but “that’s touring!”.

Thursday 25th – Penultimate show, Brolga Theatre, Maryborough

Another successful show, followed by a long black at AlliKats on Kent. The name “AlliKATS” stands for “Alli’s Kick Arse Tupperware Sales”. Its a long story.

Cool working with Brendan and Jonathan – both residents of nearby Hervey Bay!

We then drove south to the Airport Clayfield Motel in Brisbane to commence Operation Van Retrieval.

Friday 26th – Operation Van Retrieval

Our day was planned with military precision. 4:45am alarm. Shower and shave. Drive rental car to airport via service station for refueling. 7am flight landing in Cairns at 9:30am. Taxi to mechanic. Pick up van at 10am. Pick up piano shell from Tank Arts at 10:30am. Coffee from the Pineapple Cafe 10:45am. Commence first leg of the drive towards our planned destination of Ayr.

I have to admit, I was never all that confident that our van had actually been fixed. But as the minutes went by without any “low coolant” light flashing and beep beeping I began to relax. Just over an hour from Cairns we reached Innisfail without incident. We stopped to swap drivers. Then came the dreaded flashing and beeping.

We rang the mechanic in Cairns who offered to tow the van back to Cairns and “take a look”. We then rang the RACQ. We knew that if the RACQ Mechanics deemed that the problem would take more than 3 business days to fix we were covered for a tow all the way back to Melbourne. This was most definitely our preference. Thankfully the RACQ Mechanics agreed with our assessment and the van, complete with piano shell and bikes, was officially heading for home.

We stayed the night in Innisfail and booked a bus back to Cairns, a flight from Cairns to Brisbane and a hire car from Brisbane to allow us to do our final show and drive home.

Saturday 27th – Travelled from Innisfail to Brisbane via Cairns (no van)

Sunday 28th – Day off in Brisbane

An uneventful day starting with a coffee and ending with baked beans on toast.

Monday 29th – Collect rental car and CDs

Against all common sense we decided to walk from our hotel to the Airport to pick up our rental car. It was a 2-hour walk and was great fun. We even got to walk on the motorway with all the cars for a little while.

We drove our rental to a nearby shopping centre to meet a guy who’d duplicated some more of Jacqui’s CDs for us to sell at our last show. I can’t believe she’d sold more than me. We had dinner with a Brisbane friend of ours at the Loving Hut in Mt Gravatt.

Tuesday 30th – Final show, Logan Entertainment Centre

A fun show with cabaret-style seating and our first Kawai piano of the tour. One of the techs (Rick) had worked on the “Face to Face” tour with Billy Joel and Elton John (the real ones) and had some cool stories to tell.

Thanks also to Pete and Adam.

Jacqui almost sold out of her fresh batch of CDs. I still had a few left.

After the show we began our drive home to Melbourne via Goondiwindi and Parkes where we visited the famous “Dish”.

Tour done!  Many thanks to Tony, Jackie and Kelly at ATA Allstar Artists for making this happen.

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